What is true love? Is it patience and understanding? It seems like such a small word to define something as amazing as true love, yet the truth is that patience and understanding are a large part of what is true love.

True love will wait patiently through anything. At times it can be difficult to be patient, but other times, that patience does not seem to work with our partners pace. It certainly pays to wait for true love to come to us rather than settling when it truly sparks. In any relationship, the one who gives the most unconditional love is the one that truly loves the other.

What is true love then? To find your true love and spend the rest of your life with that person is one thing, but the true depth of this is to stay in a relationship long enough to share a multitude of experiences together. There are times in any relationship where the partner who shows more emotion has difficulties with selfless motives. If this is the case, find a therapist or talk to a religious advisor for guidance. The hardships shared can bring insight and healing.

Often true love is expressed in acts of service. Helping and supporting another human being are feelings of true love. There are so many examples of this, from volunteering to assisting others in need, to simply being there and being present. This shows that while there may be some selfish motives behind the act of helping someone else, it is not something that is done out of vanity, but rather out of a heart desire to make a difference.

One must also understand that the one true love has nothing to do with needing the other person or being needy. Love is a form of generosity, which requires one to extend to others what we ourselves cannot give. Being needy makes no difference in sharing the one true love. If you are truly loving to share yourself with another, then they too are in turn receiving what you have to offer. So when you ask the question “What is true love? “, what you are really saying is that you feel like you can give without expecting anything in return.

The most difficult aspect of finding true love, is knowing what is required giving and receiving in return. It takes time and patience. I know that this might sound like advice for dysfunctional people who hang on to their past wrongdoings instead of putting an end to them, but the reality is that most humans are not perfect. We all have bad behavior, some more than others, and there are times where we are simply not fit to express our true emotions. So what is true love when it comes to finding lasting happiness in a relationship?

If you really love yourself, then sharing yourself with someone else only makes sense. True selflessness is a hallmark of love. So instead of seeking out your own happiness in the arms of another, the easiest way to connect with someone who accepts you wholeheartedly is to let go of the need to define our own personalities and accept the other as they are. Connections happen naturally when you are allowing your true feelings to come through rather than working hard to avoid them. True selflessness is the foundation of true love. The more you allow your true feelings to flow, then the easier it becomes to let go of the need to define ourselves by our exterior circumstances.

To feel like a true lover, you must feel like you can unconditionally love yourself. When you say “I love myself” to another, it does not mean that you feel like they are a person, a thing, a possession, something to be cherished. It means that you are allowing your feeling of love for yourself to become a powerful emotion, an enduring feeling that lasts beyond the moment. When you want to connect with someone you care about, that person becomes an extension of yourself. That person is not some outside being, some outside need, but an extension of your inner being.